Stop Being Boring: An Expert’s Guide to Confident Communication | Emma Taylor

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 I always say to my clients, think about a 
speech or a presentation like a gift. Emma

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Taylor, public speaking coach, with 21 years 
coaching everyone from MPS to entrepreneurs,

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she's seen every speaking mistake 
and knows exactly how to fix it fast.

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Actor trained. Emma gives real world 
public speaking and comms hacks that work.

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Instantly from wedding toast to boardroom 
pitches. You want to hear this one and

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make that bold statement. As long as you're 
not barking this thing, you know it's tone.

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Exactly. Tone makes such a difference. As long 
as tone as the tone feels right. If you put

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controversial headlines out the head, do this 
or you'll die, then that's really gonna Okay.

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And, and advise. Advisable and just,

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um, the right thing to do to get help and 
to improve this, just the same way you would

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shop in any other skill. You know, this is an 
very important life skill, public speaking.

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Thanks Emma, for coming on. Um, you've got an 
incredible set of skills that I know everyone

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listening will benefit from, and I'll call 
those and correct me if I'm wrong. Public

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speaking skills, presentation skills, how 
you speak, skills, how would you frame it?

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The whole thing of performing? Yes. Even, 
even on a, on a, a online stage like this.

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Yeah. I would say I, I call what I do, public 
speaking, and I think there's the public speaking

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that we all assume is a person on a stage. 
Yeah. That's the real. High end all singing,

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all dancing, public speaking. But then equally, I 
would say, when you speak in a public environment,

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so if you are in a meeting and like a Zoom call 
and you make a contribution or a Zoom call and

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there are more people present, or you're 
in a larger meeting, I don't know, you.

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A parent's evening and you just want to ask a 
question. So you put your hand up and there's

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a room full of people. Yeah. Now, in that 
moment you are not making a presentation,

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but you are public speaking. You're speaking 
in public. Speaking in public, and as we are

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speaking in public online. So this will go out and 
people will see the way that we communicate and.

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Feel free to, uh, to tear a pot the way 
that I present. I mean, I always feel it's,

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it's so good to learn and it's so wonderful 
to meet experts in their field and people that

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really know their craft. And it, I mean, 
you've been doing this 21 years. I have,

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yes. It shocks me. You really, really experienced, 
you work with actors, lawyers, politicians.

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Yes. I mean. Um, a real array. I mean, 
surveyors, chess players, I mean,

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that's the beauty of why chess players. Well, 
I think this person had to go and give a talk.

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She was gi, she was a chess professional. Right. 
And she also runs a school for children learning

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chess. Yeah. And there was some conference 
and she was asked to give a speech at.

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And so from being someone who's an expert 
at chess, to suddenly be, you know,

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a conference where you've got daunting. A 
thousand people to speak to. I mean, that's a,

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that's a huge Yeah. Task. So, so that was a really 
lovely speech to help somebody prepare and then,

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and then get over. But no, it really is, um, 
I do run the gamut of clients and actually,

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I would say in one sense, that's 
what makes my job interesting.

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Mm-hmm. Because the skills. 
Don't particularly change,

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but the people do. Yeah. And yeah, the 
types of speech that they need to give

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are always very different. Yeah. The politic 
politicians just wanna skirt around the thing,

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but in a way they've gotta do. So if, 
if there's something very controversial

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and they don't want to answer, they have to 
politely move away or gently steer from that.

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Well, they should address the question 
and then get onto their key message then,

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then you're training some of, some of them. Some 
of them definitely need your training. Yeah.

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Because it becomes really annoying when they 
don't actually answer when they do. Yeah. So

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they're being probably given the, 
the wrong advice there, I would say.

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But, but yes. And then you've got CEOs and 
then you've got just someone who's trying

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to have the confidence to put their hand up 
in a meeting or to speak up in a Zoom call,

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which you know, can also be scary. And it can 
be quite intimidating when you've got all these

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people looking at you and it's. Yeah, I mean, I 
think that's the difficulty about the Zoom call.

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It's not just that you've got a lot of people 
there and that's if they've got their cameras on,

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but it's the closeness of the screen. Yeah. 
I did some work a couple of years ago at,

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um, a solicitor's firm in Leeds, 
and the week before I went in,

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they had a psychologist to go in. And give a 
talk about, well, I don't particularly know.

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I mean, it couldn't have exactly been 
public speaking, but it doesn't matter.

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But she was saying the reason why so many 
of us. Dislike speaking. Mm-hmm. Virtually

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is because when you are on that meeting 
and you've got 16 faces on the screen,

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they're right up against you. Staring, staring 
at you. Imagine if that happened in real life.

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Life, it would be absolutely petrifying. 
Yeah. And then of course there's the

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lack of feedback. Or with the zoom 
call, it's any little facial muscle

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or someone yawns maybe 'cause they are 
a little bit tired or lucky in oxygen.

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And then your mind just starts to run 
on and well potentially catastrophize.

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Totally, totally. And it's okay. And, 
and advise. It's advisable and just,

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um, the right thing to do to get help and to 
improve this, just the same way you would shop

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in any other skill. You know, this is an very 
important life skill, public speaking. Yeah,

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absolutely. And it always amazes me 
that people assume it's an innate.

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Talent. Now for some people it is, you know, 
Barack Obama was always going to be a great

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public speaker. Michelle Obama, however, had 
to work at it. Oh right. And you can work at

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it. You can learn technique with structure. 
Thinking about how, how am I gonna structure

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this speech? So many people are so quick just to 
rush and come up with a PowerPoint presentation.

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That's no good. The speech needs to have a 
journey. It needs to have some flow. Then after

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that, of course thinking about delivery technique 
so that sometimes you're still, sometimes you're

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moving that the face, the emotional organ 
is selling the message that your pace is

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right. That the range is good. So that we don't 
have that, you know, monotone as we're talking.

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Yeah. And again, that can, that can be taught. 
So I think. Children that have been to schools

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where there is a debating society, and 
then those children that do get involved

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in drama as well are at an advantage. They're 
learning these skills from a very early age,

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but for those of us, for. That 
weren't taught debating at school.

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Yeah. And maybe there wasn't that fantastic 
drama club, or There was, but our parents

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couldn't afford to, to let us go. We then have 
to come to it a little bit later in life. Yeah,

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we need to, and pick up, pick up those skills. 
But you can pick them up and it's up to you to

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embed them. I mean, the difference between what a, 
a public speaking can do for a person is, is huge.

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Now, if you think about someone like JFK,

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you know, most of the great politicians of the 
world. Anyone who's, who's sort of advanced in

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business has had to learn that as well when 
they get in front of these huge crowds, um,

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you can move a massive audience. Yeah. Just with 
the tone of your voice, can't you? Oh, absolutely.

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It's crazy. Yeah. Pace and tone and knowing when 
it's nice to use that chess voice. And then other

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times when you're selling ideas to keep it speedy 
and be in the head and sing a little bit more,

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and then too. To measure it, to change 
between the two. Oh, that can be really

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effective. Okay. So what we're gonna do, we 
have so many questions to get through and,

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um, they're all valuable and I wanna 
get through as many as we possibly can.

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How are we gonna get through this question? 
We're gonna get through them somehow. Uh,

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but we'll, we'll take a one by one and just 
go, because Okay. This is the way, these are

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the questions that people are asking, and I know 
that if we can get them answered, we are totally

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giving value to our audience and everyone 
can get, can get better at public speaking.

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And we're all about giving value. 
We're all about giving value and,

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and we want people to watch this episode 
and learn from this episode and become way

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better at public speaking. Okay. That's 
basically is a simple goal. Let's see.

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Let's see if we can do it. Okay, well, 
you've got two generally, generally good.

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You're a, you're a better, more 
professional speaker, but you know,

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we'll, we'll see how we. Yeah, and can we 
get, this is a challenge for us. Can we

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get through this volume? Okay. Let's go from 
the first thing. What's the biggest public

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speaking mistake people make? Not really 
thinking about who you're speaking to.

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I see so many presentations where you can 
feel that the presenter is just rolling out

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what they've always done, rather than thinking, 
who's this audience be an audience of five or 35.

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What do they care about? What do they need to 
know? And therefore tweaking my presentation.

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Appropriately rather than just doing the same 
old sales presentation that they always do.

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You know, it's a case of getting rid 
of this section and these slides,

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but actually this audience will probably 
benefit from knowing X. So I'll put in

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some other fresh material there. So it's not 
always about having to start from scratch.

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This is what people fear. You know, I haven't 
got the time to write it all from scratch.

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It's fine. But as long as you. Adapt it so 
that the audience feels the presentation is

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absolutely relevant and more than that, that the 
audience feels that it was considered when that

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presentation was being crafted. I always say to my 
clients, think about a speech or a presentation,

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like a gift. When you are on the receiving end of 
a gift, you can feel if you've been considered.

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When this gift was purchased. Equally, you can 
feel if someone just grabbed that bottle of

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vodka from the local off license and thought that 
will do, and you are not even a vodka drinker,

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you know, it's got to feel pertinent 
to the audience. That's very powerful.

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'cause I asked you what's the biggest 
mistake we make when we speak in public?

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You know, a person makes. And it's 
not about what the person is speaking,

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how the person is speaking, it's about the message 
to the other person, what they're receiving,

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rather than what you're saying. How 
you're saying whether you're standing,

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breathing like this or high tone, low 
tone. That's crazy. It's about them.

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And sometimes it's funny here today you are being 
a host. Sometimes I'll say to my clients as well,

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think about that. As a host, imagine 
someone's coming into your home. How

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would you treat them? You would make 
that evening go in such a way that's

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gonna make them feel comfortable 
and they're going to go away.

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Having had a good time now, a, a speech isn't all 
about having a good time. Mm-hmm. I appreciate

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that. But it's about them knowing that their 
needs, needs had been met and that they'd

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been considered. Yeah. I suppose you're 
saying something for a reason. You're,

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you're delivering a message that's hopefully 
of importance that the person is receiving that

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needs to receive it for whatever reason, so you 
have to make sure that you're considering them.

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I love that. That's, that's why you're on this is 
incredible. Okay, so if you just had 60 seconds

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to give someone a tip that transforms their 
speaking, what would it be? Mm. There are two,

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but it's got to be one. In which case, I'd 
probably say work on your eye contact. We always

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talk about connection and I would say aside from 
the voice, you have to have a voice in order to.

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Speak the next important technique. The 
next way of really conveying a message

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is by seeing your audience. Let them know that 
you have seen them. So many speakers, though,

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their eyes are anywhere, their, at their notes 
screen, looking around the hall or just sort of

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fading out. You know, it, it, it's dreadful.

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Let your audience, regardless of the size 
of it, know that you. Seeing it. Gosh. So

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sometimes seeing that room as a big 
circle, other time zone in speak to

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the five to 10 people. Yeah. Contact that. 
It's a sitting in a certain pocket of the

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room. Contact, connect with them and 
then have some one-to-one eye contact.

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If your audience is less than say, yeah, 70, 
then that's possible. Okay. And make sure you

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see everybody. And it's not just about the 
people that are directly in front of you,

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it's also about the people in the 
awkward pockets. Making sure that

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you physically turn round and 
you acknowledge their existence.

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And of course in a Zoom call you can't 
do that, but you might refer to someone

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or you might acknowledge them. You know, there's, 
there's something as well about customer service.

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You know, if you at, you know, in a queue to 
check in at the airport or whatever, it makes

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such a difference when the person who's actually 
serving everyone looks up and acknowledges.

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Which is acknowledges it, doesn't it? Yeah. 
It's a little look. It's very simple. Simple and

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very human. Yes. Such good advice. And the 
thing is, when you do that to an audience,

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then it looks at you, it gives you 
its full attention. Yeah. Whereas if

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an audience feels that you haven't got 
your eye on it, well then they'll look.

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They don't owe you anything. They don't, 
they'll look around. They'll get their phone

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out. Whereas when it knows you are looking at 
them, it's less likely to. Okay. And then this,

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this one's interesting. It's, it's a question 
about trying to get a message across, you know,

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let's say 30 to 60 seconds. Mm-hmm. You know, 
you don't have a lot of time, you don't want to,

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I mean, I'm, I'm quite conscious of this as 
well, but in a Zoom call, you don't want to

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ramble on too long, but how can people sort of, 
is there a way to test how long you're speaking?

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How can you be aware of how long you're 
speaking? Should you be thinking about.

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You know, I, you know, I'm going on a bit. How, 
how do you measure? I think the second you think,

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am I going on a bit? You probably are going on 
a bit. That's a good, that, um, somewhere. Yeah.

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I mean, it always depends on what it is you 
are, you are trying to get across, you know?

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So sometimes the 30 seconds will be too 
much for a particular point. Other times,

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two minutes won't do a point justice. But 
my rule is when you. Open the contribution

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to have a statement to open with a nice, 
clear statement. You know, I dunno. Um,

0:14:57.360,0:15:04.240
tipping in restaurants needs abolishing 
and waiters need to be paid a proper wage.

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That's the statement, right? Love. Then after 
that, you will illustrate it. You'll say, why?

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That's true. And then you'll finish, you'll round 
off neatly. Um, 'cause what we don't like or,

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or, or what never feels good in a meeting and 
we've all done it and we've all witnessed it,

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is when someone does start to ramble and 
they go on a bit and you think, yeah.

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And everyone's like, is this where it's gonna 
finish? And then they're going a bit more and

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you think, I think I've heard this before. 
And they just know. That you are going to end,

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and that can sometimes just be by 
repeating your statement, you know,

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so for that reason, so that's 
why I say tipping needs to stop.

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We need to pay waiting stuff. Okay. I love 
it. Okay. So it's a story a Yeah. Or a

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message sandwich, if you like, with with 
your illustration in the middle. That's

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the filling and in a way that is filling. 
And you've got the statements either side,

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just like newspaper headlines. Yeah. 
Big story. Oh, definitely detail.

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But you close. Yeah. And if you can 
just start embedding that habit. Well,

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okay, so we, we need to think a little 
bit more about mm-hmm. Our structure,

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you know, having a, a story to tell, 
even if it's a little, a little point.

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A little point. The point it deserves a, a 
structure as well, is what you're saying.

0:16:21.640,0:16:27.120
Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. The eye contact. 
Mm-hmm. And then considering who we speaking to

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so that we know to the best of our ability 
that they're receiving the message in the

0:16:32.560,0:16:41.200
right way. That, yeah, that it's relevant to 
them. Okay. Already. I feel we're making a

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good point. Okay. So if someone wants to try 
smart, you know, sound smarter, let's say.

0:16:48.440,0:16:53.920
Mm-hmm. More, um, or maybe authoritative, like 
just more, you know, wants to sound like a leader,

0:16:53.920,0:16:57.440
whatever you want it to be. Is there a way, 
something simple that they can do with their

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voice, with their body language to command a 
bit more, you know. Authority or whatever you

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wanna call it. You know, I mean, leaders come 
in all sorts of shapes and sizes, don't they?

0:17:12.400,0:17:16.640
I think

0:17:16.640,0:17:24.720
excitement sometimes when you're 
selling an idea, enthusiasm, passion,

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when you are in sales mode or you're trying to 
be. Persuasive. I always think about Professor

0:17:31.360,0:17:35.360
Brian Cox and his physics. Yes, yes, yes. 
Love. I mean, if he wasn't love him and if

0:17:35.360,0:17:40.320
he wasn't as enthusiastic about it as 
he is, he wouldn't have the following.

0:17:40.320,0:17:47.360
He gets no part. Part of it is inspired 
by, by his personality. Oh, he loves it.

0:17:47.360,0:17:52.480
So I think where you, where you are genuinely. 
Genuinely passionate and excited about something,

0:17:52.480,0:17:58.880
really let that show other moments if 
we are looking to be authoritative.

0:17:58.880,0:18:03.080
It is about being able to have the 
difficult conversations, of course.

0:18:03.080,0:18:11.600
Mm-hmm. And mentioning the elephant that's in 
the room and doing it with steadiness. So again,

0:18:11.600,0:18:21.680
thinking about being composed slow pace. Making 
people's eye contact then that, I mean, that's

0:18:21.680,0:18:28.225
really important when you are delivering a harder 
message. Oh, that's good advice. You know, you

0:18:28.225,0:18:31.440
might mean it. There's also things going around, 
I, I find these quite interesting, actually.

0:18:31.440,0:18:36.960
Little clips on TikTok social media 
about, um, certain words that we can use,

0:18:36.960,0:18:41.920
certain phrases that, or that we shouldn't 
use. Right. That make us sound a little bit,

0:18:41.920,0:18:47.280
you know, like we're not really sure. And um. It 
doesn't give that credibility stamp. Oh, you know,

0:18:47.280,0:18:52.160
like kind of thing kind of thing. 
Yeah. Sort of the qualifiers.

0:18:52.160,0:19:00.240
Yes. Those words try and get rid of them. Why 
do you do that? What? What that of Why is itis,

0:19:00.800,0:19:10.080
what is it? I dunno. Sometimes if it's a bit 
cultural in that to be too strong. The point

0:19:10.080,0:19:14.720
doesn't feel very British that we'd say 
kind the point of it. The point because

0:19:14.720,0:19:18.360
we think that was more gentle and I 
think that's why women do that as well.

0:19:18.360,0:19:22.720
Yeah. 'cause otherwise you might 
come across as as being strident,

0:19:22.720,0:19:28.320
but I think it's absolutely fine to take 
away the qualifiers and make that. Bolder

0:19:28.320,0:19:34.000
statement. As long as you're not barking 
at the state, you know it's tone. Yeah,

0:19:34.000,0:19:38.480
exactly. Tone makes such a difference. As 
long as Totally as the tone feels right.

0:19:38.480,0:19:42.960
But I mean, one thing, and it's similar to the 
qualifiers, try and get rid of the fillers,

0:19:42.960,0:19:51.920
the uh uh, um, I think those hesitations can 
give people. The feeling that you don't really

0:19:51.920,0:19:56.560
know what you are talking about. And for so many 
people, it's just a habit. I know people they'll,

0:19:56.560,0:20:00.320
they'll err at the end of sentences or 
they'll finish a sentence and they'll say,

0:20:00.320,0:20:02.160
you know, you know, or, you know what I mean?

0:20:02.160,0:20:06.240
You know what I mean? And it's 
just, yeah, it's just habit,

0:20:06.240,0:20:10.880
you know? You know, literally I said it 
just now, when I edit these podcasts,

0:20:10.880,0:20:16.000
I have a look and I'll go through the podcast 
and then I notice them. Because I look how many

0:20:16.000,0:20:21.280
M's. Are there. Hmm. And you know, you know, 
you know and kind of maybe sort of, you think.

0:20:21.280,0:20:26.320
Seriously, I didn't even, I didn't, 
I wasn't aware that I did it as much

0:20:26.320,0:20:29.440
as I do. Yeah. I was not aware of that. I 
thought, I'm actually pretty good. I don't

0:20:29.440,0:20:34.400
go, um, too much. You know, I think they'll 
all, they'll always, they'll always be some,

0:20:34.400,0:20:38.000
and don't beat yourself up too much. 
But there are some speakers who just.

0:20:38.000,0:20:42.240
Uh, and, um, and, you know, you know, yeah, 
it's really, and, and then the problem with

0:20:42.240,0:20:48.080
that is not only do people then potentially 
lose confidence, they start looking out for the,

0:20:48.080,0:20:56.000
uh, uh, the, you know, the, so Oh, so it's like 
an infection. So, yeah. Okay. Another thing, uh,

0:20:56.000,0:21:02.480
uh, uh, uh, uh, no, we won't do that. Should 
you rehearse, uh, before doing speech,

0:21:02.480,0:21:05.920
should you rehearse before going into a 
Zoom call, how much practice do you need?

0:21:05.920,0:21:12.880
Or does that make you. Robotic. Yeah, I think 
it completely depends on the speech. I mean,

0:21:12.880,0:21:19.760
I would say going into a Zoom call, no, it might 
not be a bad idea. You know, as I said before,

0:21:19.760,0:21:25.680
if you're making points just to say aloud the 
statements, those. Messages that you want to

0:21:25.680,0:21:29.920
convey, say the statement out loud a few times 
that you know you can really get your mouth

0:21:29.920,0:21:34.880
around them and that there's not a word in your 
head that you think you are going to use that has

0:21:34.880,0:21:40.480
five syllables, and then as you try and say it, 
you're, you know, you're dropping all over it.

0:21:40.480,0:21:45.440
Best to sub substitute that with a one 
or two syllable word. Yeah, but no,

0:21:45.440,0:21:50.080
keep it. Keep it nice and relaxed. Then 
as you are. Illustrating why you've made

0:21:50.080,0:21:56.640
that statement in a Zoom meeting. If you've 
got a keynote speech Yeah. You've, you know,

0:21:56.640,0:22:01.099
in that context, then absolutely. 
You've got to get through it.

0:22:01.099,0:22:05.600
You've got to get it on its feet and, and go 
through it a few times and go through it. And

0:22:05.600,0:22:08.080
particularly I'd say the opening and the close,

0:22:08.080,0:22:14.000
that's the most important thing. If you can 
work from a few bullets or prompts mid speech,

0:22:14.000,0:22:19.520
because yes, I know this section and by 
this stage, adrenaline. I'll have died down.

0:22:19.520,0:22:24.480
I'll be feeling calm. Great. You know, that, 
that's not so vital. But I would say getting

0:22:24.480,0:22:28.880
the beginning and the ending right is, is 
key. Okay. Let's talk about this keeping

0:22:28.880,0:22:33.600
calm thing. So I remember as doing a lot 
of speeches as a child and public speaking

0:22:33.600,0:22:38.400
festivals, I, I love that, but it was like a 
nervous energy and I love stress in a really.

0:22:38.400,0:22:43.840
Weird way, but I remember feeling 
the, the intense nerves and things,

0:22:43.840,0:22:52.000
and I think the only thing that ever helped 
me with that was, was breathing. Yep. Yeah,

0:22:52.000,0:23:03.760
I mean, there are lots and lots of techniques. 
The two that I find most beneficial myself are

0:23:03.760,0:23:10.640
to remind myself, I've done my preparation 
for one. Okay, that's, that's so important.

0:23:10.640,0:23:17.040
If I know, I've put in, let's say it is a keynote 
speech, and I know that in terms of thinking about

0:23:17.040,0:23:23.520
my topic, structuring the speech, getting my 
visuals together, rehearsing it a few times,

0:23:23.520,0:23:28.880
I've probably put in six hours of work there. 
Yeah, I mean, you've not done it in a block,

0:23:28.880,0:23:34.000
but, but bit by bit. And as you've been driving 
along thinking about it, six hours of work.

0:23:34.000,0:23:38.480
That's a lot of work. Yeah. So remember, 
remember that. And then the next thing is,

0:23:38.480,0:23:42.400
as you say, breathing as you are waiting to go on,

0:23:42.400,0:23:48.880
breathe properly. I've been practicing yoga for, 
well, more than half my life now. Awesome. And

0:23:48.880,0:23:58.160
in Pranama, what's always key is that. Your 
exhalation is longer than the inhalation.

0:23:58.160,0:24:03.040
So say you breathe in for four, 
hold it for two. There's that

0:24:03.040,0:24:10.880
place where you're need inhaling or 
exhaling. Yeah. Now exhale for six

0:24:10.880,0:24:17.040
in for, and then you can, you can exactly. You 
can make that in for seven. Hold for two, hold out

0:24:17.040,0:24:24.160
for nine. Just make sure the exhalation is 
longer and that. Okay. Not only is it calming,

0:24:24.160,0:24:29.600
it's also preparing the whole respiratory 
system for the job that it's got to do,

0:24:29.600,0:24:32.560
but also it does bring down blood pressure.

0:24:32.560,0:24:37.040
So there's so many perks to that. And let 
me tell you what I do as well. I marry

0:24:37.040,0:24:43.360
this then with. Preparation, reminding myself 
about the preparation. So on the inhalation,

0:24:43.360,0:24:48.800
I'm saying to myself, I have done my 
preparation internally, not out loud. And

0:24:48.800,0:24:55.920
then on the exhalation I say, I am prepared. 
So the mantra is I have done my preparation.

0:24:55.920,0:25:03.520
I am prepared and let that happen a few times 
and that, that relaxing treat for me. Yeah.

0:25:03.520,0:25:10.080
Thi things though that, that other people need 
to be aware of is just tension. So many people,

0:25:10.080,0:25:13.440
when we are tense, it goes to the, and the neck,

0:25:13.440,0:25:19.737
the shoulder all round here. Yeah. And of 
course you need your larynx to, to work well.

0:25:19.737,0:25:24.640
Yeah. It gets so tall. So it's about being able 
to. Release that tension. Is that why people have

0:25:24.640,0:25:30.880
this nervous? Yeah, it's because for some people 
it's, it's all around the neck. People. It's very

0:25:30.880,0:25:38.160
much in the jaw, quite a male thing for it to be 
in the jaw. Yeah. Around here. So listen, outside

0:25:38.160,0:25:42.880
of public speaking, what I'd say is well 
is when you find yourself in moments of.

0:25:42.880,0:25:45.440
Attention, you know, things aren't 
going to where you're a bit scared.

0:25:45.440,0:25:49.760
Think about what's my body doing? Where 
is that tension? Like this? Yeah. And

0:25:49.760,0:25:56.000
get into the habit then of, of being 
able to release it quite quickly. Oh,

0:25:56.000,0:26:01.280
therapy. Therapy. I just did something which 
was interrupt you. Ah, so let's talk about that.

0:26:01.280,0:26:05.280
How can you. Politely interrupt 
someone. And let's actually, also,

0:26:05.280,0:26:09.680
whilst I'm asking this question, talk about P 
Morgan. I'm sure you know him. Yeah, yeah. He's

0:26:09.680,0:26:12.720
wonderful at interrupting people and 
um, it's a normal thing for him and

0:26:12.720,0:26:16.640
it's part of the show. How come he gets 
it right? Is that because it's his brand?

0:26:16.640,0:26:21.360
And is it okay to interrupt people? Well, I think 
most of the time when people interrupt, they're

0:26:21.360,0:26:30.560
doing it 'cause they're excited and they agree 
with somebody. And as long. As you are aware that

0:26:30.560,0:26:35.840
that's it and you still want them to finish their 
sentence, you can, you can chip in and then say,

0:26:35.840,0:26:41.040
but go on. You were telling me about that's 
a good way that, and that's absolutely fine.

0:26:41.040,0:26:47.440
I think rarely do people do it, actually, 
because it's been fueled by arrogance that

0:26:47.440,0:26:52.160
they think they've got something better to 
say. Usually it's just under, by excitement,

0:26:52.160,0:26:57.760
I mean. We should probably try and wait it 
out and let the person finish and then come

0:26:57.760,0:27:02.560
in. But let's not beat ourselves up if we, 
if we are interrupting for the right reasons.

0:27:02.560,0:27:07.520
But sometimes it's go on sometimes 
and, you know, and in podcasts as well,

0:27:07.520,0:27:12.800
I can't, I can't let people carry 
on and on. So you go, you know, ah,

0:27:12.800,0:27:16.720
is that because they're rambling? Sometimes? 
They're rambling. They might be going off

0:27:16.720,0:27:21.040
piece. Are they in their own world? Well, 
that's different if they're going off piece.

0:27:21.040,0:27:25.280
If, if we are no longer within the realms 
of the discussion, they've gone different.

0:27:25.280,0:27:28.880
I think always say the name. This 
is, you know, meetings. Say the name,

0:27:28.880,0:27:35.840
it get gets their attention. Say, thanks for that 
now, and then something different. Okay. Okay. I,

0:27:35.840,0:27:40.560
I'll use that. I'll use that. 
Voice. Let's talk about that.

0:27:40.560,0:27:45.440
Mm-hmm. Should you be warming it up? I know 
singers do that, but for speech before Zoom,

0:27:45.440,0:27:49.600
if you don't want that, is there 
something you can do? Yeah, I mean,

0:27:49.600,0:27:57.520
absolutely. I'll tell you something that I 
always find incredible. So you'll have actors

0:27:57.520,0:28:02.720
say at the Edinburgh Festival, and they're 
going out and they're playing to houses of.

0:28:02.720,0:28:10.640
Six people sometimes. Yeah, I've done it. Yet 
they will still warm. They still up their voices.

0:28:10.640,0:28:17.200
Conversely, you'll have CEOs who are going out 
to conferences. Whether a thousand people in the

0:28:17.200,0:28:22.720
hall, they won't, but they won't even think to 
do it. So absolutely. When you have that large

0:28:22.720,0:28:29.600
audience and there's no amplification or little 
amplification, you should warm up your voice.

0:28:29.600,0:28:36.400
So hummings a great thing to do. Just hum 
along to some music, music. Beatles ballads

0:28:36.400,0:28:42.480
put on a Beatles ballad and hum along to it 
in the car, and that really starts to warm up

0:28:42.480,0:28:46.880
the voice and it helps the breath as well. 
And then other things that are nice to do,

0:28:46.880,0:28:53.760
tongue twisters. Warm up the articulators 
because even if you do have amplification.

0:28:53.760,0:28:59.600
Getting your mouth to move round 
your words can be tricky. I mean,

0:28:59.600,0:29:04.560
I had that today. Yes. And you think it's 
not even a particularly difficult word,

0:29:04.560,0:29:10.720
but for some reason the doesn't journey 
to go from E to O maybe isn't there,

0:29:10.720,0:29:14.920
and that's why there's sound. Okay. So 
like she sells seashells on a seashell.

0:29:14.920,0:29:18.560
Really? Yeah. Red, I yellow shell The 
cheese. Oh, red lre. Yellow Lre is a

0:29:18.560,0:29:21.680
brilliant one. Red lre yellow. 'cause it's 
so tricky. 'cause what you're asking your

0:29:21.680,0:29:27.360
mom to do is make two very different shapes. 
Yeah. There's lots of air. Yeah. Oh, air. And

0:29:27.360,0:29:32.320
actually it's that journey making that 
shape that just becomes too tiring.

0:29:32.320,0:29:38.240
Hence why the sound Yeah. It, it starts to, it 
starts to go. Um, but if you can. Conscious thing,

0:29:38.240,0:29:44.080
I'm gonna make the effort at oh oh, red L yellow 
Laurie, red Lori yellow Laurie, red L, yellow

0:29:44.080,0:29:51.520
Laurie. Then you're getting a really nice. Warm up 
now, bro. Critiques. Yeah. And this is what I say

0:29:51.520,0:29:56.560
is vary them. 'cause if all you are doing is she 
sells seashells, you're gonna get good at it fast.

0:29:56.560,0:29:58.800
Yeah. Yeah. I'm, that's not the point. 
I'm very good at that one actually. I

0:29:58.800,0:30:01.600
can challenge people with that one. It's, 
it's about, yeah, about changing them so

0:30:01.600,0:30:06.320
that you're constantly being exercised. Okay. 
So you'd spoke about preparation and that's

0:30:06.320,0:30:10.480
something that you inhale, I'm prepared, 
you know, I know that I've done that.

0:30:10.480,0:30:18.160
Um, but can you also still. Fake a confidence 
on stage if you are really scared. Oh,

0:30:18.160,0:30:25.680
yes. And I suppose the good news is most 
symptoms of adrenaline are not visible

0:30:25.680,0:30:33.040
people. People can't see, oh, your heart. People 
can't see the heart actually. True, true. Um,

0:30:33.040,0:30:36.880
the sweat, they weren't necessarily, they 
not, they, they won't necessarily see.

0:30:36.880,0:30:40.720
That the drawing mouth you might have. 
Ah, now that what we can speak about that,

0:30:40.720,0:30:45.760
that's a separate thing. So when 
the symptoms aren't visible,

0:30:45.760,0:30:49.120
as long as you go out there and you 
look at your audience and you give

0:30:49.120,0:30:55.600
them a nice smile and you take your time, 
you. Keep that introduction nice and slow,

0:30:55.600,0:31:01.200
and you've warmed up so you're not gonna trip 
on your first line, which would be dreadful.

0:31:01.200,0:31:07.600
Then five minutes later, that adrenaline will 
pass and everyone will think, oh, isn't she

0:31:07.600,0:31:13.120
fantastic? And you were from the start. 
You know, that's, that's easy. So yes,

0:31:13.120,0:31:17.600
you can absolutely fake it. Okay. And I 
think you should. Okay. And of course,

0:31:17.600,0:31:21.760
the more you do a fit, the less daunting it it 
becomes as well. And I think that's the problem

0:31:21.760,0:31:26.680
for so many people that come to me is that 
they're only doing it once or twice a year.

0:31:26.680,0:31:34.320
Okay. So it does become such an exceptional It's a 
big deal. Occasion. Yeah. When though the symptoms

0:31:34.320,0:31:38.640
are visible. Now that's something different of 
you feel the red, of course. Redness. You feel

0:31:38.640,0:31:44.560
the red going, yes, you anxious. Anxious. Lots of 
people have it and I have had it in my life. Yeah,

0:31:44.560,0:31:51.760
I think in those situations I would ask a 
friend, a good friend to tell you how red it is.

0:31:51.760,0:31:56.240
So if, if you're not particularly 
red, then you can get away with it.

0:31:56.240,0:32:01.520
But I know when I was at drama school, 
I had, there was a call, a girl, woman,

0:32:01.520,0:32:10.400
now girl on my course and. Before she'd go on 
stage, she was scarlet and you could actually

0:32:10.400,0:32:18.240
see it rise from her neck to her hairline. 
Pus it? Yeah, it died down quite quickly.

0:32:18.240,0:32:24.560
But people who sweat a lot or who have the 
jittery, shaky, ery, the jittery hands. Now with

0:32:24.560,0:32:31.760
the sweats and the red face, I would say if it 
bothers you that you know your nerves betray you,

0:32:31.760,0:32:36.720
then the best thing to do is probably to 
draw attention to it yourself and say,

0:32:36.720,0:32:41.520
now look. You can probably see I've gone 
a bit heavy handed with the blusher.

0:32:41.520,0:32:47.200
This has nothing to do with the fact that my heart 
is racing presently. And they'll, they'll know it,

0:32:47.200,0:32:52.400
you know, address it. Okay, address it, maybe 
make a virtue of it. And then with the hands,

0:32:52.400,0:33:01.760
the shaking hands, use them. If you can sort 
of. Press out the shake by making some nice,

0:33:01.760,0:33:06.389
sharp gestures as I'm doing 
now you get rid of that shake.

0:33:06.389,0:33:10.320
Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. So that's 
make the sharp gestures. Make the small

0:33:10.320,0:33:16.720
fists. Yeah. And then as that calms down, you 
can relax and make more natural gestures. Oh,

0:33:16.720,0:33:23.200
that's interesting. Okay. So you can possibly 
address it. Okay. And what's your go-to three part

0:33:23.200,0:33:31.600
formula for a talk that people. Actually remember, 
oh, I'm not sure I've got a three part formula.

0:33:31.600,0:33:39.760
Um, well, I think a, a good opening and 
close and something that's bold now,

0:33:39.760,0:33:45.360
that means you're taking a risk and lots 
of people are nervous to do that, you know,

0:33:45.360,0:33:52.240
to end with the story. Just to, to end in such 
a way, punch that, yeah, a punch. Something

0:33:52.240,0:33:58.640
that they're not quite expecting. That is 
inspiring. I think that's really important.

0:33:58.640,0:34:04.320
I think that.

0:34:04.320,0:34:13.520
Everything you are stating or maybe asking 
for needs to be plausible. Okay. Okay. Um,

0:34:13.520,0:34:16.800
yeah. You don't always think, 
yeah, right. Well, nice idea,

0:34:16.800,0:34:22.560
but that will never work. Yeah. Saying something 
irrelevant. Maybe run it by someone before you,

0:34:22.560,0:34:26.129
if possible. Bit of market research. 
Exactly. I would call it. Exactly.

0:34:26.129,0:34:28.960
What do you think? Exactly. Think the other 
thing I would say is always come mean slightly

0:34:28.960,0:34:34.720
under time. Mm-hmm. You know, if you're 
given 30 minutes to speak, speak for 25,

0:34:34.720,0:34:41.600
it's not a, a. Test of endurance. No one's 
gonna tell you off if you haven't filled

0:34:41.600,0:34:45.600
every single, every single second, every 
second. Make it a really good 25 minutes.

0:34:45.600,0:34:51.360
And then if they wanna ask questions, they can. 
And no one ever begrudges having a slightly longer

0:34:51.360,0:34:56.320
coffee break in my experience. That's good 
advice too. That's good advice. And, uh, for

0:34:56.320,0:35:01.920
the modern Zoomers. Who want to use a PowerPoint 
presentation. Yeah. And we hear the same death by

0:35:01.920,0:35:06.640
PowerPoint. Yeah. And I do use PowerPoints, 
you know, for, for clients and things.

0:35:06.640,0:35:13.840
Uh, and um, the people that work with me use them. 
But I, I'm always afraid of the PowerPoints 'cause

0:35:13.840,0:35:19.680
I find them very. Boring and, uh, are we, I try 
and keep them very minimal. Yeah. Are we talking

0:35:19.680,0:35:23.680
about on Zoom now? We Yeah. Do. Yeah. So you're, 
you're presenting, you know, also it doesn't

0:35:23.680,0:35:28.080
matter in real life as well, but you've got that 
PowerPoint because you have to show a graph or you

0:35:28.080,0:35:36.840
wanna show some statistics or, well, I, what my 
view is for a graph statistics, a table, a photo.

0:35:36.840,0:35:40.400
Mm-hmm. If it's going to add value to your point,

0:35:40.400,0:35:47.920
then it's absolutely fine. In fact. Go for it. 
Why? Why wouldn't you? What I'm not so keen on is,

0:35:47.920,0:35:53.040
let's imagine we've got that Zoom presentation 
and the second the presenter says hello,

0:35:53.040,0:35:56.240
bam. We're in the zoom. Yes, we're in 
Zoom. Yeah. And they become that tiny box.

0:35:56.240,0:36:03.680
No, don't do that. You be present, you fill 
that screen and then just five minutes in. Go

0:36:03.680,0:36:10.400
and open a couple of slides, talk around then, 
then get back out again and take up the space.

0:36:10.400,0:36:14.320
Yeah. 'cause I mean, imagine if we had a 
big PowerPoint here. Like these are the,

0:36:14.320,0:36:16.960
these are the three things 
we're gonna discuss today.

0:36:16.960,0:36:22.320
We're going to discuss in read it off bullet 
0.1. Bullet 0.2. It's just you want to almost

0:36:22.320,0:36:26.480
die from the boredom of that. I dunno. It just 
kills, it kills. It's something about it. It,

0:36:26.480,0:36:30.080
it's, I mean, I don't think 
it's a terrible tool though,

0:36:30.080,0:36:34.720
but I think it's about you being in control 
of, it's not it controlling you and you

0:36:34.720,0:36:40.000
just bring it in now and again when it's 
enhancing and adding value to the point.

0:36:40.000,0:36:46.960
Okay. And how can you make. Technical information, 
difficult, complicated, you know, people that deal

0:36:46.960,0:36:54.080
with finances and heavy facts. How can you make 
that interesting in a public speaking kind of way?

0:36:54.080,0:36:58.720
You are presenting now numbers and graphs. How, 
how does that Yeah, that can be really, I mean,

0:36:58.720,0:37:03.280
I think it depends on the audience, generally, 
people who are presenting that information.

0:37:03.280,0:37:08.960
Are presenting it to an expert audience. 
So I think in that context, it doesn't

0:37:08.960,0:37:15.920
matter. Mm-hmm. It's when they are presenting it 
to more of a novice. Audience that then they've

0:37:15.920,0:37:21.760
got to think about how, how they're gonna go 
about it. And I think that's where a good analogy

0:37:21.760,0:37:27.120
can come in, so that instead of the break it up 
information on the mortgage, they can put, they

0:37:27.120,0:37:32.520
can give us that information and then put it into 
a different world so that we can see how it works.

0:37:32.520,0:37:37.760
Okay. In that world. And then continue. 
What's nice is continue with that analogy

0:37:37.760,0:37:41.280
a little bit. Into the, into 
the presentation. So a bit like,

0:37:41.280,0:37:45.760
you know, standup comedian will often 
do a callback at the end Yeah. Okay. Of

0:37:45.760,0:37:50.400
their set where they refer to an observation 
that they made much earlier on in the set.

0:37:50.400,0:37:53.520
Yeah. And that's something that 
you can do with a good analogy or

0:37:53.520,0:37:58.880
a metaphor in a presentation. But I 
also think a nice similarly simile,

0:37:58.880,0:38:06.720
um. Can just, I mean, it's a very light 
touch here and there. An original simile

0:38:06.720,0:38:14.080
can really brighten a presentation. I remember 
seeing, um, Victoria Cora Mitchell once opened

0:38:14.080,0:38:24.640
up while a series of only connect, and I think 
she described it, she said it a quiz as hard.

0:38:24.640,0:38:30.000
Butter that's fresh outta the fridge. Oh. 
Oh, I hate that. And that was a, again,

0:38:30.000,0:38:37.520
a nice simile. 'cause we all know I hate that 
too, at your bread and, oh, so uncertain. But

0:38:37.520,0:38:43.600
that's what I mean. Think about, can you bring 
in a simile that can just light? Yes. A point,

0:38:43.600,0:38:46.720
it will stop their presentation from 
being so boring, boring and dry.

0:38:46.720,0:38:50.720
And again, you're considering your audience, 
which is the first thing you said. Save them.

0:38:50.720,0:38:56.800
Save them. It's just a little bit of light relief. 
So relief from these terribly boring facts give,

0:38:56.800,0:39:02.880
give everyone a break and know they want their 
coffee. Okay, so on, on Zoom, whatever you might

0:39:02.880,0:39:07.520
use, whatever technology should your camera always 
be on or is it rude to have it switched off?

0:39:07.520,0:39:12.640
Oh, I would never have it off if I'm 
giving. In a presentation. I just,

0:39:12.640,0:39:16.240
and even if I'm just in a meeting. 
In a meeting, yeah. I still, I would

0:39:16.240,0:39:21.440
always put my camera on. You see the younger 
generation? Yeah. You like to have it off? Yes,

0:39:21.440,0:39:27.840
they do. They switch it off. It's like I, I 
dunno if that's a, maybe it's generational.

0:39:27.840,0:39:32.400
I just think it's a bit, it's a bit rude. 
Rude. I think it's rude and it helps,

0:39:32.400,0:39:39.840
I suppose. I just think it helps the speaker, 
you know, the listeners control the quality

0:39:39.840,0:39:45.440
of a speakers speech. So let's imagine you 
asked me what I was doing at the weekend,

0:39:45.440,0:39:49.520
and then as I tell you, you're looking 
around the room or behind my shoulder one.

0:39:49.520,0:39:54.400
I see. Yeah. See if there's anybody else more 
interesting here than me now. Now that's gonna,

0:39:54.400,0:39:59.680
yeah, it's just rude. It's horrible. Yeah. 
That's gonna change my ability to communicate.

0:39:59.680,0:40:02.880
Suddenly I'm gonna phase out 'cause 
I'm thinking she's not particularly

0:40:02.880,0:40:06.400
interested. Not interested. Not interested. 
And that's what I think about the camera.

0:40:06.400,0:40:11.120
Just put it on and show it on that 
you are interested. Yes. And also

0:40:11.120,0:40:16.400
switch the microphone off maybe when this 
background. Mm-hmm. Sounds right. Yeah,

0:40:16.400,0:40:21.360
exactly. Tickets, I think, or I think so. 
Keep it off. You know, there are people like

0:40:21.360,0:40:24.560
that in real life where they're always 
looking, you know, they say hi. Oh, hi.

0:40:24.560,0:40:31.680
And they, oh, mean, looking beyond you. I 
know. Yeah. I think, you know, for me it,

0:40:31.680,0:40:37.680
it was really interesting switching to 
the podcasting world because. I grew up,

0:40:37.680,0:40:43.120
as I said, doing public speaking. And I love 
that 'cause I love to see the audience. I love

0:40:43.120,0:40:48.160
adding something fun into their lives and making 
them laugh or just, it's giving them energy.

0:40:48.160,0:40:52.960
Just, I love the, the, the notion of, of 
entertaining the crowd. I just love the

0:40:52.960,0:41:00.480
crowd. And then, but with this, you don't see 
them. You don't see, I, I know from the stats.

0:41:00.480,0:41:06.160
Okay. Like the demographic and I know the 
countries and things like that, but I don't

0:41:06.160,0:41:12.480
really know. And I, I mean, how do you find that? 
It's a bit sort of for public speaker, it's, it's

0:41:12.480,0:41:17.520
a different way to, to operate, isn't 
it, when you're not seeing your audience?

0:41:17.520,0:41:26.160
No, but I think, I think they can still feel 
quality and care. Do your preparation. Yeah. You

0:41:26.160,0:41:30.800
thought about the que, you not just sort 
of raced in here. You've thought about

0:41:30.800,0:41:35.360
the. Questions that you are going to ask 
me. You sent them to me. I've considered,

0:41:35.360,0:41:38.320
I've considered them what they might 
find useful. I think as long as you

0:41:38.320,0:41:43.120
can put in that quality of care in 
your preparation and in the delivery.

0:41:43.120,0:41:47.680
No, you, you can't see them. But, um, I 
suppose you'll know from figures whether

0:41:47.680,0:41:52.560
it's hitting the spot or Oh, yeah. You'll 
know. Um, you'll know what topics they find

0:41:52.560,0:41:55.840
interesting. So I, I guess that's a little 
bit different. Mm-hmm. You know, you've got,

0:41:55.840,0:42:00.880
um. Some of the really huge 
mega podcast is now, today.

0:42:00.880,0:42:05.840
They'll know that, for example, health 
is a, is a mega topic, and that if you

0:42:05.840,0:42:13.200
put controversial headlines out there, then do 
this or you'll die. Then that's really gonna,

0:42:14.080,0:42:18.320
you know, but draw them in. Yeah. 
It's the old click base isn't, there's

0:42:18.320,0:42:25.920
a, it's bit of a teaser, a different, it's not 
as, yeah, it's not as honest or clean or, or, or.

0:42:25.920,0:42:31.040
You know, as a one-to-one, you know, even 
now in business and as much as possible,

0:42:31.040,0:42:37.200
I will always go and see the person 
mm-hmm. And sit with them and touch base,

0:42:37.200,0:42:42.240
and we'll have millions of these zooms and 
all the time, every day, all the time. No

0:42:42.240,0:42:49.920
problem. But I just feel that that personal 
connection. It's just nothing can ever beat that.

0:42:49.920,0:42:55.840
Yeah. Yeah. Ever. Well, it's, um, it's, it's 
that, isn't it? You are not gonna get a round

0:42:55.840,0:43:01.680
of applause with a podcast as you do when 
you give that 30 minute speech. And Yes, I,

0:43:01.680,0:43:10.285
I understand that it possibly then feels a bit 
deflating, but as long as you are getting some.

0:43:10.285,0:43:13.440
Yeah, in the tick, tick box, it's, that's, that's 
the, it's not so much deflating because I love it.

0:43:13.440,0:43:17.360
I know that it's still entertainment. It's 
just that you're not getting that hit. I'm

0:43:17.360,0:43:20.880
not seeing them. Yeah. So I'm not seeing 
the reaction and then I've gotta look to

0:43:20.880,0:43:24.800
analytics for the analytics to tell the 
reaction. Whereas it, like, you know,

0:43:24.800,0:43:29.440
when you've got your audience, you can tell 
immediately. Oh yeah, exactly how it's going.

0:43:29.440,0:43:34.480
You can read the room. Yeah, you read them, 
you get a giggle from them. Yeah, a spontaneous

0:43:34.480,0:43:39.360
clap here and there. And also you get giggles in 
places where you didn't expect them. You thought,

0:43:39.360,0:43:44.800
oh, I didn't realize that was, that was 
as funny as it as it's clearly landed.

0:43:44.800,0:43:49.760
So. Is it okay to read off notes? Because I 
have a lot of questions that I've just asked,

0:43:49.760,0:43:52.480
and I can't, I just cannot memorize them all.

0:43:52.480,0:43:56.800
It's just me, my brain. Um, but yeah, 
I, I can't memorize these all, and I,

0:43:56.800,0:44:01.920
and I want to refer to the detail within them. 
So is that okay or is that. It's considered rude,

0:44:01.920,0:44:07.200
or what's your thoughts? No, it, it's 
absolutely okay given the context. It's

0:44:07.200,0:44:11.920
not like your eyes are glued to your phone 
for, you know, it's just a prompt, isn't it?

0:44:11.920,0:44:14.880
And then, and then it's a prompt. We're 
talking prompt. Yeah, I think notes are

0:44:14.880,0:44:20.800
absolutely fine. In fact. For some types 
of speech, I think it's fine to have it

0:44:20.800,0:44:26.560
written out full hand and almost read it, 
but sight read it so you're coming up in

0:44:26.560,0:44:32.240
your senior audience. So if someone wants to 
give, say a maiden speech, now's a commons.

0:44:32.240,0:44:38.080
They'll probably want Yeah. The entirety of 
that speech. Whole thing. Because if your mind

0:44:38.080,0:44:41.840
suddenly does go blank, that's the thing. The 
details, it's very to reco details. Yeah. It's

0:44:41.840,0:44:47.600
gonna be really tough to recover from that. 
Yeah. Recover. Yeah. Whereas if I'm seeing

0:44:47.600,0:44:54.560
a 20 minute or a. 10 minute sales pitch and 
someone is absolutely glued to their notes.

0:44:54.560,0:44:57.840
That's not gonna give me much confidence. 
It's hot. 'cause I'm thinking if they should

0:44:57.840,0:45:04.240
absolutely know about their product, they should 
be able, if they are using a few slides to refer

0:45:04.240,0:45:09.120
to them. But just talk to me. Yeah, you, 
that's the thing. You should know that,

0:45:09.120,0:45:12.080
that information. Sure. But if 
you're referring to it as a prompt.

0:45:12.080,0:45:18.080
Prompt, yeah. Then it's, and also people 
often. Have more prompts than they need.

0:45:18.080,0:45:25.440
Sometimes I look at people's prompt cards and it's 
absolutely loaded, hacked with, yeah, I mean it's,

0:45:25.440,0:45:30.960
it's just fully written and if it's so fully 
written, you can't see the prompt. So on a

0:45:30.960,0:45:37.040
prompt card, you just need to have three 
bullet points, bullets, three words that.

0:45:37.040,0:45:40.800
That's a good tip, actually trigger 
you rather than sentences. Do you know,

0:45:40.800,0:45:45.440
we were talking about the podcasters, so 
I know that some of the podcasters who do,

0:45:45.440,0:45:49.680
um. A lot of the pol ones that 
love politics, political ones. So,

0:45:49.680,0:45:53.520
um, especially the, the American podcasters, 
I know that they've got a teleprompter.

0:45:53.520,0:45:57.600
You can see the eyes a little bit, but 
they give these really long, you know,

0:45:57.600,0:46:02.080
20 minute mm-hmm. Speeches, I would say it 
is a speech. Isn, yeah, yeah, yeah. To the

0:46:02.080,0:46:06.720
camera. So they have to know all of these figures 
that they listen and it's normally statistics and

0:46:06.720,0:46:11.360
it's a lot of facts. And there's no way. 
On earth that you would know that without.

0:46:11.360,0:46:15.920
So they are looking at the screen and they're 
reading at their pace. Mm-hmm. And I know the

0:46:15.920,0:46:21.360
politicians do that as well. So when you say 
in that whole speech, that's what you mean?

0:46:21.360,0:46:27.200
Yes. It's an on. Okay. Yeah. Oh, that's 
interesting. Mm-hmm. And I suppose it's,

0:46:27.200,0:46:30.880
it's also the modern way of doing it. 
Now when you've got that kind of thing.

0:46:30.880,0:46:34.480
And I know that with politicians when they 
get up and they do their, a lot of them,

0:46:34.480,0:46:38.400
not all of them. Yeah. Well come, it's a part I 
see conference season now and a lot that they'll

0:46:38.400,0:46:43.760
have that. On a teleprompter. Teleprompter, 
yeah. Know Davy gave his mm-hmm. Few days ago,

0:46:43.760,0:46:47.673
the start of the week. Yeah. And he made it 
look like he wasn't using it teleprompter.

0:46:47.673,0:46:50.960
It was very hard to tell, but it was, 
it was there in, in the corner. Yeah.

0:46:50.960,0:46:58.240
Yeah. But then famously in the past, 
well not recent past, David Cameron,

0:46:58.240,0:47:08.480
when he became the conservative leader, did 
so. Partly on the strength of his ability to

0:47:08.480,0:47:14.536
stand in front of the conference for 45 minutes 
and give a speech without, he didn't use it.

0:47:14.536,0:47:17.280
Yeah. And he didn't use anything. 
Okay. And you have to think, you know,

0:47:17.280,0:47:22.800
it takes balls to do that. But then what 
do you want your leader to have? And it's,

0:47:22.800,0:47:29.040
in some ways it's a silly thing 'cause it's 
all just a, a memory game. But people were so.

0:47:29.040,0:47:33.440
Impressed. Yeah. That he could do that. 
But you know what? I think if it's, uh,

0:47:33.440,0:47:38.720
if it's the, the speech, the speech, and we'll 
talk about it in a minute, the wedding speeches.

0:47:38.720,0:47:42.800
If it's the speech that you're giving and 
you're now going to become party leader,

0:47:42.800,0:47:47.920
and it's everything that you passionately 
believe in. I would hope that you're not

0:47:47.920,0:47:52.880
reading that off. I, I would hope 
you know that that's coming fully

0:47:52.880,0:47:58.320
from the brain and heart, however, but 
the danger is, yes. Sorry to interrupt.

0:47:58.320,0:48:04.880
The danger is I think the year after then. 
Yes. Um, Miller Band, not David Miller Band,

0:48:04.880,0:48:08.320
the other one. I've forgotten his name. 
He'll come to me in a second. Anyway,

0:48:08.320,0:48:14.240
he was then Labor party leader and he gave a 
speech at conference and he did the David Cameron

0:48:14.240,0:48:20.800
trick only he went and missed sections because 
he didn't have the teleprompt, so Ed Miller Band.

0:48:20.800,0:48:25.920
So that's the, so he missed, so that's the, 
that's the the danger I. See, because the,

0:48:25.920,0:48:30.480
the podcast is, this is something that they're 
doing every single day. Yeah. So it's a bit much

0:48:30.480,0:48:34.800
to re you know, someone Yeah. Couldn't possibly, 
no. And, and all the questions I've got three of

0:48:34.800,0:48:40.320
these, you know, in a row I'm, how you know, 
so you can't, but if it's your life speech.

0:48:40.320,0:48:44.400
Mm-hmm. But let's talk about life 
speeches, wedding speech. Lots of

0:48:44.400,0:48:48.320
people need to prepare. One, how do you 
even begin? How do you structure it,

0:48:48.320,0:48:53.680
um, to make sure that. People go, that was a 
great speech. Great speech. Yeah. Right. Well,

0:48:53.680,0:49:00.160
first of all, I think know what the 
rules of your speech are. Okay. So

0:49:00.160,0:49:04.320
for a father of the bride, they need to 
think about what are they doing there?

0:49:04.320,0:49:08.400
Well, they're there to welcome everybody, 
to welcome the grooming to their family,

0:49:08.400,0:49:13.520
to do a bit of a sales job on their 
daughter and to, and to wish the wish

0:49:13.520,0:49:18.640
the couple well. The groom speech. Now this 
is interesting of course, 'cause it needn't

0:49:18.640,0:49:25.120
be a groom speech. Really, it's the couples 
speech and in the last few years I've had.

0:49:25.120,0:49:30.320
The couple come to me 'cause they've decided 
we're going to give that as a couple. So for

0:49:30.320,0:49:36.240
the couple's speech, really again, that's about 
them thanking parents, anybody that's paid towards

0:49:36.240,0:49:42.560
the day, people that have helped the bridesmaids, 
the brides, grooms. And then it's nice when they

0:49:42.560,0:49:49.120
can talk about one another and tell us why 
they are the perfect Yeah, the perfect fit.

0:49:49.120,0:49:55.360
Something romantic. Yeah. And then traditionally. 
Their toast should be towards the bridesmaids,

0:49:55.360,0:50:00.080
and that's nice to do to the wedding 
party when it is the couple that

0:50:00.080,0:50:05.120
are giving the speech so we can have 
the bridesmaids toast is and the um,

0:50:05.120,0:50:09.040
groomsmen. Oh, toasted as well. Traditionally, 
that's the way that should happen.

0:50:09.040,0:50:15.360
And then of course then best man's 
speech. Ooh. Scary. Scary for the

0:50:15.360,0:50:21.280
bride. So doesn, he What's gonna come outta 
this? Yeah, he's just sort does a, does a few

0:50:21.280,0:50:27.280
thank yous and then tells everybody why he 
best friend or brother is ready, is a catch

0:50:27.280,0:50:31.920
and is ready for this and why After the 
wild today. Yeah. And why he knows that.

0:50:32.560,0:50:38.240
Union will be a success. And then again, his, his 
toast is to both couples. So sorry. I think it

0:50:38.240,0:50:44.560
really is just about knowing what's, what do 
you should your speech cover because so many

0:50:44.560,0:50:51.040
meander and get into with the territory, 
which isn't good. I mean, I've seen a,

0:50:51.040,0:50:57.280
a father with the bride speech. Where the 
father of the bride ended up talking about

0:50:57.280,0:51:03.040
all the motorcycle trips he'd been on round Europe 
with his brother in the seventies and eighties.

0:51:03.040,0:51:06.320
I mean, it went literally,

0:51:08.960,0:51:14.480
I, this went on for ages, um, and 
awful. He literally ruined the wedding,

0:51:14.480,0:51:18.160
ruined the groom's men's speeches 
who, because they think, oh,

0:51:18.160,0:51:22.480
this is the moment I'll tell my bride how much I 
love her. They also start telling their mother,

0:51:22.480,0:51:27.840
their brother. It, it just becomes an excuse to, 
to tell everybody they might've had a bit by then.

0:51:27.840,0:51:31.520
Exactly. It can be over. Don't a 
drunk. And although people are going,

0:51:31.520,0:51:38.080
ah, they're thinking, ooh. Stop it. Yeah. 
Cringey. Um, so yeah, understanding the rules,

0:51:38.080,0:51:43.280
keeping it short, keeping it original. People 
know when you've lifted a joke off the internet,

0:51:43.280,0:51:49.840
the best jokes are those that come from actual 
stories that are true or misunderstanding.

0:51:49.840,0:51:52.720
So the groom thought this. Meanwhile, 
the brides thinking that, and,

0:51:52.720,0:51:56.400
and we've learned about this and there's 
a discrepancy. That's where you can really

0:51:56.400,0:52:05.120
mine some original humor. Okay. Gosh, luck 
goes into it. Whew. Funerals. Mm-hmm. I mean,

0:52:05.120,0:52:10.720
how difficult it must be to get up and, and 
do a speech when you're feeling that down.

0:52:10.720,0:52:17.440
I mean, what are the, the do's and don'ts of a 
of a funeral? A speech at a funeral. Right. So

0:52:17.440,0:52:26.720
I think, um. If it's a real close relative, it 
is nice for you to write the speech. Don't put

0:52:26.720,0:52:32.080
the pressure on yourself to deliver it though. 
If you think it's gonna be too much, then have

0:52:32.080,0:52:38.080
a good friend who understands your voice so when 
they read the speech, they'll be able to read it.

0:52:38.080,0:52:43.760
In, in your voice, have that person on hand 
so that if you can't, can't do it for decides

0:52:43.760,0:52:49.200
too much, somebody else can do it for you. 
Equally do know that if you have a moment

0:52:49.200,0:52:56.800
where you break down and you just have to stop, 
you just stop. You stop. You blow your nose,

0:52:56.800,0:53:04.000
you rally, you continue. Nobody cares. 
Yeah, nobody thinks any less of you.

0:53:04.000,0:53:11.040
Okay. Um, we spoke a little bit earlier about. 
Maybe the, the lack of teaching public speaking

0:53:11.040,0:53:15.200
in schools. You don't see much of it, not, not 
that many opportunities. It might be the odd

0:53:15.200,0:53:20.240
school play that you do once. Um, do you think 
that that's the case? Do you think they should be

0:53:20.240,0:53:26.320
actively teaching? Public speaking as part of say, 
the English curriculum getting up, presenting.

0:53:26.320,0:53:29.200
Do you think they should? Oh, I, I, 
yeah. I don't think it would hurt

0:53:29.200,0:53:31.600
at all. It wouldn't hurt, would it? 
I mean, I'm not an English teacher,

0:53:31.600,0:53:35.840
so I don't know exactly what is covered on 
the curriculum, but when I was at school

0:53:35.840,0:53:44.160
every year we had to, it was part of English 
recit a poem and deliver a 10 minute speech.

0:53:44.160,0:53:48.880
This was, this was something that happened in 
class and then you'd go through to speech day.

0:53:48.880,0:53:53.440
And that was really great practice. Yeah. 
You, you learned so much from doing that.

0:53:54.000,0:53:58.960
Also. My school was an all 
girls school and I think that

0:53:58.960,0:54:04.320
really helped me. Helped. Yeah. And this 
definitely, girls were given the floor

0:54:04.320,0:54:08.720
and I think in mixed settings they're 
probably not given the floor so much.

0:54:08.720,0:54:17.440
The boys tend to. Speak more, and then 
teachers will often invite those boys

0:54:17.440,0:54:20.880
to speak in order to control them and discipline,

0:54:20.880,0:54:25.200
you know, so it is a case of, oh yeah, right. 
Tommy, if there's something you want to share,

0:54:25.200,0:54:29.040
if, if they're being naughty, please share that 
with the class. What did you think to that?

0:54:29.040,0:54:33.920
The questions are being. At the 
boys more than they are the girls,

0:54:33.920,0:54:38.720
just because the girls are less likely to 
misbehave and then that follows through,

0:54:38.720,0:54:44.640
and then when they get into the world of work, 
women have then become conditioned to be quiet

0:54:44.640,0:54:51.200
and not be heard in that public space. So 
yes, I think the more they can be done.

0:54:51.200,0:54:55.280
The better practice. I mean also for adults. 
Just keep practicing every opportunity you

0:54:55.280,0:55:00.640
have. Even if it's in a restaurant. Ask things 
to speak to strangers. Oh, definitely. You know,

0:55:00.640,0:55:08.640
if it's a friend's 40th, do take a little speech 
along. The more you can do in day to day live,

0:55:08.640,0:55:11.680
he'll improve. Yeah. Just to 
send your voice out there,

0:55:11.680,0:55:15.440
my dad is such an extrovert and 
he's a terrific public speaker.

0:55:15.440,0:55:21.200
One thing I have noticed that he does. Sometimes 
it's a bit annoying, I have to say, but,

0:55:21.200,0:55:27.600
but he does speak to people like random strangers 
and he'll strike up a conversation and speak to,

0:55:27.600,0:55:31.920
you know, it is also cultural things. You 
gotta be careful which country. But he

0:55:31.920,0:55:35.360
does tend to speak to people he doesn't know, 
and then they, you know, in, in a nice way.

0:55:35.360,0:55:38.400
And then they. Bond and he has all 
these practices, the one-on-ones and

0:55:38.400,0:55:43.520
things. And that also helps you to be a better 
speaker, doesn't it? Oh gosh, yeah. That not,

0:55:43.520,0:55:48.000
not feeling self-conscious to do that. 
Yeah. The art of conversation. I mean,

0:55:48.000,0:55:53.560
I think that's probably what will need to 
be taught in schools as people, you know?

0:55:53.560,0:55:57.440
Yeah. Kids are on their phones, the 
art of conversation conversation,

0:55:57.440,0:56:02.320
and then suddenly, yes, they are thrown into 
a networking situation and there it's not,

0:56:02.320,0:56:07.440
you can't go and hide. Into your 
phone, you've got to go up and speak

0:56:07.440,0:56:11.240
to people. Speak to people. I think it's 
so easy as well. Just ask a few questions.

0:56:11.240,0:56:18.720
Yeah, I suppose a few questions. Apparently the 
Queen would always say when she was at events,

0:56:18.720,0:56:23.280
what keeps you busy or what keeps 
you busy? Uh, and you think, well,

0:56:23.280,0:56:27.760
that's great. Great question. It doesn't 
matter what anyone does. You're not being

0:56:27.760,0:56:33.520
a career sniffer and saying, what 
do you do? It's not, what do you do?

0:56:33.520,0:56:39.040
Yeah, yeah. You're just saying, so what keeps 
you busy? And if somebody. Is unemployed,

0:56:39.040,0:56:41.680
but they're a terrific darts player. 
They're gonna tell you about their

0:56:41.680,0:56:45.200
darts. If they're a stay at home 
mom, but they've got into knitting,

0:56:45.200,0:56:49.680
they'll tell you all about about that. If 
they are a CEO, yeah, it doesn't matter.

0:56:49.680,0:56:54.240
But it's a really nice way in. Oh, and 
it takes us right back to the beginning,

0:56:54.240,0:56:58.240
which is you're considering the 
other person. A person, yeah. Take,

0:56:58.240,0:57:04.320
take the pressure off yourself all the 
time by considering them. Being a host,

0:57:04.320,0:57:10.880
how are they feeling? How can you make them 
feel better? Emma, you've been terrific.

0:57:10.880,0:57:15.360
Absolutely terrific. I've loved every second 
and I've absorbed it like a little sponge,

0:57:15.360,0:57:19.280
and I hope that everyone else watching 
that you've taken something from this

0:57:19.280,0:57:24.560
and that we're all better speakers and 
better in the art of conversation. Oh,

0:57:24.560,0:57:26.960
lovely. It's been amazing. Thank 
you so much. Oh, brilliant.

0:57:26.960,0:57:30.720
Thanks, Alexandra.